Meditation: Day 4

New year, new resolutions. At nearly 30, I am starting to think that these resolutions don't feel so new and that they are just a reminder of what I didn't accomplish in the last 365 days. Regardless, it's good to check in and see how are you doing with your personal goals every now and then, I suppose. I actually spend a lot of time thinking about things that I aspire to do and be. More time thinking than doing if I'm being honest. I think about what I should be eating, what I should be doing to exercise, what I should be wearing. 

Not too long ago, I had a friend who was trying to figure things out for herself. I gave her the advice that it's okay if you don't get it perfect the first time around. Just try things and you'll make it perfect along the way. Of course, I haven't thought to apply this advice to myself. Until now. I've realized that the goals I have in mind are not about accomplishing a single task or checking something off a list. It's about making a change in my lifestyle that will continue as time goes on. I want to create habits that I don't have to constantly think about.

To share a little bit about me, I'm terrible at having any sort of habits. I'm not the type of person who can follow the same schedule every day of the week. I don't take my vitamins at the same time every day. I can't make a meal plan and stick to it because my mood changes and I won't want what I planned for Tuesday. I'll probably eat Friday's meal and then it screws everything up. (Dramatic, I know.) It all feels very unnatural to me,but I've found that not having daily habits makes things harder to balance when you have a family to take care of.

Remember how I said I wanted to start meditating a while ago? Yeah, well this is the 4th time since then that I've done it. Go me. Today was more productive than usual. I woke up at around 7:30 as usual but instead of browsing the internet to start the day, I asked my husband to wake up and see if he wanted to do some yoga with me. To my surprise, he agreed. I pulled up some videos on YouTube by KinoYoga who I have been following on Instagram. Kevin wanted to do about 30 minutes so I chose Gentle Yoga and Meditation, Beginner Home Practice.

I love Kino's soothing voice but something about today, (maybe doing yoga with my husband for the first time) made it so I couldn't take it seriously. Kevin and I laughed our way through some of the practice, telling each other that there was no way this was beginner level. I think we've just been off our game for longer than we realize. I could feel my muscles crying out, "Now you finally want to stretch us out?!" It was 30 minutes well spent though. I assume this productivity is what is giving me some much needed clarity & inspiration to write. These last few years I've found it extra challenging to write because it's just 'too loud' in my mind.

For anyone who is interested in meditating, I recommend an app called Headspace. A friend suggested it to me and I think it would appeal to a more general audience. People often think that meditating has to be this ancient ritual of where you burn incense and sit cross legged on the floor with your fingertips touching while repeating "om". The app allows you to develop a practice to fit your modern day life and with just 10 minutes a day. Try it out!